An open letter to Lance Berkman, concerning Beer Bike
Staff Editorial
Issue date: 11/20/09 Section: Opinion
Dear Lance,
By now, we're sure you've heard the news: Beer Bike is changing (see story, page 1). This year, the first in which the number of colleges runs into double digits, the most sacrosanct part of Rice's culture will look … different. See, two new colleges have ridden in on their environmentally friendly horses and decided to crash the party, changing up the game plan and turning this year's Beer Bike into a cauldron of concern and confusion.
We don't mean to say it's their fault. They don't know what they're doing out there, and their apathy for an event they've never seen is to be expected. Granted, we'd like to see their sister colleges, Baker College and Will Rice College, take it upon themselves to embrace their younger brethren and show them the ropes. If Will Rice would put aside its preemptive desire to defend its sweep, McMurtry College wouldn't be on the outside looking in at this year's Beer Bike. The same goes, albeit to a less-competitive extent, for Baker and Duncan College. That being said, because these two new colleges will be tossed out of the nest so abruptly, possibly forming their own five-bikers-and-five-chuggers teams, they will be able to learn, grow and bike on their own. Still, they should have been allowed part of their sister colleges' Beer Bike squads - simply look at McWill's Powderpuff squad to see how successful an athletic pairing can be.
But that's not why we're here to grouse. The fault of this year's blotted Beer Bike falls into the lap of those who forgot, abjectly and unflatteringly, to think about how the addition of two new colleges would affect the structure of the Beer Bike track. When Martel College opened seven years ago, a slew of accidents hampered its entrance into the Beer Bike velodrome. While we commend the powers that be for not squeezing a pair of new teams onto the thin track this year, we wonder why they could not have foreseen this problem years ago, when the addition of the new colleges was being planned. The expansion of the track will cost six figures, a substantial amount in its own right, but we want to know why the capital budget request, set to be completed after this year's Beer Bike, was not filed all those years ago. Now, instead of seeing 11 teams fly around the track, we'll see a pair of new colleges forced to watch from the side, waiting an extra 12 months to truly take part in the most memorable event of the year.
The expansion cost will be substantial, and, as such, we'd like to enlist your help. Instead of waiting for the capital budget request to go through - thus leaving the door open for the failure of its passage - we want you, the stud first baseman for the Houston Astros and former Rice superstar, to look deep into your Houston heart, forgo a game-and-a-half worth of your $14.5 million annual salary and help christen the Lance Berkman Beer Bike Track. Has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?
Think about it, Lance. Rice needs you, now more than ever. Be the hero we've always known you are. Save our Beer Bike.
Sincerely,
The Rice Thresher.
By now, we're sure you've heard the news: Beer Bike is changing (see story, page 1). This year, the first in which the number of colleges runs into double digits, the most sacrosanct part of Rice's culture will look … different. See, two new colleges have ridden in on their environmentally friendly horses and decided to crash the party, changing up the game plan and turning this year's Beer Bike into a cauldron of concern and confusion.
We don't mean to say it's their fault. They don't know what they're doing out there, and their apathy for an event they've never seen is to be expected. Granted, we'd like to see their sister colleges, Baker College and Will Rice College, take it upon themselves to embrace their younger brethren and show them the ropes. If Will Rice would put aside its preemptive desire to defend its sweep, McMurtry College wouldn't be on the outside looking in at this year's Beer Bike. The same goes, albeit to a less-competitive extent, for Baker and Duncan College. That being said, because these two new colleges will be tossed out of the nest so abruptly, possibly forming their own five-bikers-and-five-chuggers teams, they will be able to learn, grow and bike on their own. Still, they should have been allowed part of their sister colleges' Beer Bike squads - simply look at McWill's Powderpuff squad to see how successful an athletic pairing can be.
But that's not why we're here to grouse. The fault of this year's blotted Beer Bike falls into the lap of those who forgot, abjectly and unflatteringly, to think about how the addition of two new colleges would affect the structure of the Beer Bike track. When Martel College opened seven years ago, a slew of accidents hampered its entrance into the Beer Bike velodrome. While we commend the powers that be for not squeezing a pair of new teams onto the thin track this year, we wonder why they could not have foreseen this problem years ago, when the addition of the new colleges was being planned. The expansion of the track will cost six figures, a substantial amount in its own right, but we want to know why the capital budget request, set to be completed after this year's Beer Bike, was not filed all those years ago. Now, instead of seeing 11 teams fly around the track, we'll see a pair of new colleges forced to watch from the side, waiting an extra 12 months to truly take part in the most memorable event of the year.
The expansion cost will be substantial, and, as such, we'd like to enlist your help. Instead of waiting for the capital budget request to go through - thus leaving the door open for the failure of its passage - we want you, the stud first baseman for the Houston Astros and former Rice superstar, to look deep into your Houston heart, forgo a game-and-a-half worth of your $14.5 million annual salary and help christen the Lance Berkman Beer Bike Track. Has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?
Think about it, Lance. Rice needs you, now more than ever. Be the hero we've always known you are. Save our Beer Bike.
Sincerely,
The Rice Thresher.
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Benjamin Nushmutt
posted 11/20/09 @ 10:59 AM CST
Lance Berkman doesn't even make $15 a year? I smell a renegotiation.
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